After last night, I could never be a politician.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
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