i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
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