You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
