I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
