I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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