Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
