Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
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no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
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We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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