Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
