we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
