i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Randomize