Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
