you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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