Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
