My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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