i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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