Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Randomize
