well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
is wine microwaveable?
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
