Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
