Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize