Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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