I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
