but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I will pee on everything he values.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
