I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Randomize
