god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i don't like sucking hair
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
