I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Randomize
