I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
