I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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