so explain again why im purple
no
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
