You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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