Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
