Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Too much gin, very little bucket
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
