She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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