fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
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