So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
