That's intense
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
