the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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