Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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