i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
