I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Welp...herpes.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Randomize
