Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
