Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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