Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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