didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
ok i will unlock the door
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
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i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
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What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!