Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
