I just pynch a tree in the face
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
