Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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