my mouth tastes like poor choices
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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