Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
you will always have a special place in my vag
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
