I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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