I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Randomize
