i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
