Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
