i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
