i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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