Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize