some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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