I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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