Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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