I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Two words: nipple clamps
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