Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
my shit smells like andre
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
