did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
