this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
How external is "for external use only"?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
