he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
