You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
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and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
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