CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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