He is an equal opportunity slut.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
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