remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We just shotgunned beers for America
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
