I wanna passion pit in your ass
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Randomize
