I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I'm both gender and math confused
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
