Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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