plz talk dirty to me
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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