i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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