she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Randomize
